did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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