I accidentally burped into my bong.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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