let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is my gift to your gina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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