Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
