hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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