i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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