He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
