i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
