And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
