she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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