Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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