You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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