I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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