My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
