Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
