yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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