So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
