you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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