I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
