were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
