u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
