wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
