he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
