So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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