I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
