No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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