May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
