I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
