so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
