i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
