you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
