As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
