Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
