There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
