if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
