Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
