I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
