I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
