If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
