I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sorry my hands just texted you
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just pee around me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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