Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
