To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Someone signed my nipple.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
