Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome