that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.