she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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