Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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