My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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