Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
