I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize