I want to have your abortion
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
