Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize