can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
