Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
