My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
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The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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