i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
