I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
