I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we're making bets on your personal life
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
