I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
