We won't sleep together?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.