Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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  (202): And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan." http://tfl.nu/9mrq
  Replies (17) Good night (2079) Bad night (816)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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  (630): The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum. http://tfl.nu/5o8q
  Replies (9) Good night (4564) Bad night (937)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.

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  (917): But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs. http://tfl.nu/w3j8
  Replies (20) Good night (3205) Bad night (856)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.

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  (207): Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete. http://tfl.nu/jsd4
  Replies (21) Good night (3591) Bad night (557)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

  (516): View more from New York

  is she hot?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is now

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  (802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college (516): is she hot? (802): She is now http://tfl.nu/4xoq
  Replies (34) Good night (9229) Bad night (915)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
  Replies (23) Good night (6028) Bad night (832)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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  (313): And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono http://tfl.nu/k8o2
  Replies (17) Good night (3979) Bad night (2004)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2218) Bad night (3952)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

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  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (2119) Bad night (1002)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex

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  (816): i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex http://tfl.nu/eas7
  Replies (19) Good night (1840) Bad night (2166)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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  (217): I feel a five day drunk coming on. http://tfl.nu/u0qx
  Replies (4) Good night (1240) Bad night (675)
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (856)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.

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  (859): I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now. http://tfl.nu/jyw8
  Replies (5) Good night (1152) Bad night (551)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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  (570): I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick http://tfl.nu/k83b
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (481)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.

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  (313): 420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/907d
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (727)

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