i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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