I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
